


Interesting Choice

by Schussel



Category: Star Trek: Discovery, Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 10:53:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 15,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14953296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schussel/pseuds/Schussel
Summary: Enterprise/Discovery CrossoverA transporter accident throws Paul Stamets 100 years into the past on board the Enterprise NX-01. His life there is not easy, especially the MACOs give him a hard time. But the hate he feels for Major Hayes transforms into something different.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for my bad English, it is only my second language. I hope you can enjoy the story despite the tons of errors.  
> Hayes is my favorite character in all Star Trek. And since I have watched season one of Discovery, I adore Paul Stamets. I know Hayes is practically married to Malcolm but I just had to write this story. The problem is that these two guys are not on the same ship, not even live in the same century. So I needed some tech magic that brings them together. And for things like that the transporter always volunteers.  
> The story starts after Hatchery (Season 3, Episode 17) but before Countdown (Season 3, Episode 23). And in my little world, Hayes is not dead! And he will not die in this story.

**Hayes:**

Hayes materialized on the transporter platform of the Enterprise. Next to him stood a member of his team and a man he had never seen before. And who definitely had not been there when they had beamed up. His reflexes immediately let him aim his weapon at the man.

"Who are you and how did you come aboard this ship?"

he asked in his strict command voice. When the stranger didn't answer at once, Hayes made one step towards him pointing his phase pistol at his chest. The man looked around the room, his eyes full of confusion. He was wearing a kind of uniform but one Hayes did not recognize.

"Answer my questions!"

**Stamets:**

"My name is Paul Stamets."

He looked at the dark haired man and tried to figure out where he was, how he came here and what these people could want from him. A moment before, he was down on that planet with the away team, ready to beam up. Then the transporter beam caught him and when he came back he stood on this platform together with two other men. At a console stood a woman, apparently operating it and they all stared at him.

"I don't know how I came here, I don't even know where ‘here’ is."

**Hayes:**

"Hayes to Reed, we have an intruder on board, come to the transporter room immediately!"

The stranger seemed unarmed but he did not believe his confusion. That guy was most likely putting on a good show.

"I ask you again where do you come from and why are you here."

That moment Malcolm Reed and two security men entered the room together with the Captain, who stared at the stranger for a few moments and then asked him the same questions as Hayes had before. But he was so polite to introduce himself first, details Hayes did not waste time with.

"I'm Captain Archer of the earth starship Enterprise. I want to know who you are and how you came aboard."

**Stamets:**

When the Captain said his name, he thought for a moment he was just having a very weird dream. Because Jonathan Archer was Captain of the Enterprise more than 100 years ago. He once again looked around the room. It did indeed make the impression of being a bit antiquated. But this was not possible, someone set up a very convincing simulation or something like that.

"I'm Lieutenant Commander Paul Stamets from the Federation starship Discovery. I just beamed up to my ship but instead i materialized here. What stardate is it?"

The Captain looked confused.

"Stardate? What do you mean by that? Today is January, 13th, 2154.”

That was not possible. That would mean he was 103 years into the past. How?

"Captain, when I last checked my watch we were in 2257. But i do not believe that i travelled back in time. Somehow you want to make me believe that. So what do you want from me?"

**Hayes:**

That man was lying no doubt. The Captain made a sceptical face and said

"I've never heard of a ship named Discovery. But we have ways to find out if what you say is true. Major bring him to sickbay. Dr. Phlox will check if he is human at all."

Hayes confirmed the order, took the man by his arm and led him from the transporter platform. All the way to sickbay he tried to think of the reason why that stranger would tell a story like this. He claimed to be a starfleet officer. On his chest was a badge attached to that ridiculous uniform. With a lot of fantasy one could see that as a rank insignia. He was very curious what Phlox would find out. The Captain had already called the Doctor from the transporter room so he was awaiting them. Standing next to a bed with his usual big smile. Hayes thought Phlox would still smile when Enterprise and all aboard would already burn in hell.

**Stamets:**

That scary looking alien, he was vaguely familiar with the species but could not remember the name, asked him to lie on the bed. Then he started scanning him. The room confirmed the impression of being out-dated. The process took long, longer than it should take to check his DNA for being human or not. If these people were faking they made much effort. A part of him hoped this whole thing was real because that meant these were starfleet officers and would help him to get back. If he was captured by enemies, his chances were worse. That man who dragged him here was staring at him the whole time. He wore a different uniform than the captain. He tried to remember what he knew about this time but he was never good at history. The guy looked like he was ready to kill him the instant the Doctor would say he was an impostor. He did not care much for weapon wielding brutes but he was not immune to the fact that the man was handsome. He had exactly the right amount of muscles to be impressive but not so much to be over the top. His face was hard as stone. If he was able to smile? His thoughts were interrupted by a beeping medical instrument.

**Hayes:**

He watched the man on the bed intensely, ready to strike in case the Doctor didn't confirm his story. If this indeed was a starfleet officer they had lowered their standards in the future. Everything about this man looked soft and weak. His blond hair was well-groomed but his face looked like that of a puppy. Hayes was sure he could easily overwhelm him if it was necessary at all. More likely he would hide under the table as soon as he tried to seize him. An instrument beeped and Phlox said in his usual good weather voice

"He is part human, a part of his DNA is another species i do not have in my database."

Hayes prepared himself, obviously he did not tell he whole truth. He was some kind of mix between two species but how was that possible? But maybe he was from the future and in 100 years from now humans would mate with other races. He found the thought unsettling. He listened as Phlox asked the man about his foreign DNA.

**Stamets:**

This was a problem. If he was in the past he was not supposed to talk about his tardigrade DNA or how it was possible to get it. They would never believe him.

"Captain this is difficult to explain, this DNA is from a creature not yet discovered in this time."

Captain Archer was off course not happy with that answer.

"How did you get it and why?"

came the immediate response from him.

"I was injected with this DNA because an experiment made it necessary."

"What kind of experiment? Why necessary?"

Paul did understand why Archer had to ask him all these questions. How to convince a starfleet captain that you can't give him certain information? That was next to impossible.

"I can't give you details, I'm sure you will understand that I can't give you inside into future technology."

That would not calm him down, on the contrary.

"I don't accept this answer, you are a potential threat to this ship and I want to know exactly who and what you are!"

Paul sighed.

"I'm sorry Captain, all I can tell you is that we developed a new technology and this made it necessary to ... adapt me to it."

**Hayes:**

The Captain looked at him and said

"He will stay here in sickbay until Phlox examined every square millimetre of him, you will make sure of that!"

"Yes sir!"

The Captain left after he ordered Phlox to call him when his examination was finished. Hayes heard the stranger sigh. Apparently that didn't work out the way he wanted. How could any human alter his DNA willingly for an experiment? This was such a clear attempt to fool them. He heard Phlox order the man into his imaging chamber. He had a worried look on his face. Hayes was sure there was more the man was hiding.

**Stamets:**

He was lying in the imaging chamber and tried to think of what to say when they asked him about the implants in his arms. They won’t look the least bit suspicious, he thought and rolled his eyes. After what felt like an eternity he was pulled out of the chamber and the doctor stepped from one side to the other, got this instrument than that. Scanned him, looked at the readings, mumbled something and then finally after what must have been at least an hour, called the Captain. When Archer arrived, Phlox took him aside and apparently showed him what he found.

"Mr. Stamets, it seems that your story is at least partly true. The Doctor found cybernetic implants in your arms and the technology is more sophisticated than everything we know. So this supports you being from the future. Do you have an explanation what these implants are or would it damaged the time line to tell me?"

The sarcastic tone in Archers voice was not to overhear.

"I'm sorry Captain but exactly that is the case."

"So you expect me to believe a rather unlikely story, ignore the fact that you are only half human and have unknown technology integrated in your body and just help you?"

"Well, that would be great."

Paul was well aware of how pathetic that sounded.

**Hayes:**

He listened to the exchange between Archer and Stamets and he hoped the Captain wouldn't be foolish enough to believe that man. Finally Archer turned to Hayes and ordered him to escort the stranger to the brig and lock him in until he decided how to proceed. Hayes did as he was told and when he activated the lock on the prison cell the stranger gave him a look he could not quite read. Was that a plea to let him out? A try to look trustworthy so he'd believe him? Well, he had other duties than engaging in a staring contest here all day. He returned to his office and started to write his report on the away mission.

**Stamets:**

When that soldier locked him into the brig, he could not help it but to take a long look at him. Something about that guy fascinated him. Maybe that time travel had affected his brain, since when did he find this kind of man attractive? Men like that soldier could only fire phasers and kick asses. Besides that he had a problem to solve. How was he supposed to convince Archer? It was a long night in the brig.


	2. Chapter 2

Paul barely slept that night. The next morning someone brought him breakfast and soon after that a security officer led him to the Captain’s ready room.  
Besides Captain Archer, Commander Tucker and Lieutenant Reed were present. Tucker reported what he found when he inspected the transporter and confirmed that something strange happened during the beaming. They asked Paul a lot of questions. Most of them he was not allowed to answer. He could not give them details about his ship and his work. They also asked him what he knew about their time, the Enterprise and the Xindi Attack on earth. Paul told them everything he remembered about that. After a long discussion, Archer decided that they would try to find out what exactly happened and hopefully a way to get Paul back to where he came from.

The next days he worked together with Tucker. Paul quickly adapted to work with this old technology and soon Tucker was at least convinced that he didn't lie when he said he had starfleet training.  
Paul got quarters and was allowed to move freely in the non-sensible areas of the ship. But in engineering or the transporter room there was always someone with him.  
Unfortunately the results of their research were devastating. The reason Paul was on Enterprise, was a chain of coincidences that caused a transporter malfunction. And it was not possible to reproduce that. Paul refused to believe that. He wanted back to his old life, to his friends. But they didn't find a way.

Archer was very understanding how Paul felt. But since he was on an important mission - finding the Xindi weapon - he could not afford to spend more resources on this problem. And since Paul proved to be skilled in handling the ships systems, Archer asked him to stay aboard to support them. Paul had a bad feeling about this but he had not much options. Enterprise was on a mission, turning around to get him back to earth was out of the question. And it could be a long time before they meet another ship that could take him back. And even then, he would return to an earth he didn't know and where he had no one. Staying on Enterprise where he could do something useful and where he at least had a bit of a familiar environment seemed the better option. So he decided to stay. Off course he had no prove that he was Lieutenant Commander, so he had no rank. He worked as a simple crewman and soon became very valuable to Tucker.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The target practice is the training program from season 3, Episode 15 (Harbinger).

**Hayes:**

When he left the Captain’s ready room, he was ready to kill the first person in sight. He was ordered to give the new crew member some combat training. Since they were fighting a war, Archer wanted Stamets to be able to fight in case it was necessary. What a waste of time. It took not much to see that Stamets was far away from ready for combat. But since he was such an asset to the team, because of his technical knowledge, Hayes had to do his best. He put a schedule together containing sparring lessons, target practice and a daily workout in the gym to get the man in shape. He send the schedule to Stamets with the instruction to follow it to the letter.

**Stamets:**

When he met with Hayes for the first training session he knew this would not end well. The first thing Hayes told him, when they started was how very much he was not suited for this. He didn't disagree. An hour later his body and his ego were severely bruised. He hoped that bastard would fall accidentally out of the next airlock. He was going to have private lessons with Hayes two times a week. The other three days, he was going to attend the group sessions with other MACOs and some starfleet personnel. And the MACOs looked at him as if he were their breakfast. Since he had no rank he was the lowest of them all.

**Hayes:**

He walked between the sparring pairs and couldn't help but shake his head at how incredibly dumb Stamets acted. He had the agility of an elephant. No wonder his partner knocked him down time after time. How was he supposed to teach this man how to fight? It was impossible, but he had his orders. So he needed to find a way.

**Stamets:**

The MACO Corporal, his name was Ryan, let out a sigh. He just had knocked Paul on his ass for how many times? He lost count.

"Come on, try harder."

came the order from the MACO. Paul took a deep breath and tried again. He knew he would fail. He had just not the strength to block the blows. And he was not fast enough to evade them. So he suffered another humiliation when he was taken down. How he hated all this. He hated the brutality, these arrogant soldiers and most of all he hated Hayes. Who was looking at him from the side of the room.

**Hayes:**

He watched Stamets go to the middle of the room and knew what was coming. When the program started and the small blue balls whirled through the air, Stamets tried desperately to hit them, but he - off course - failed. Again. He wouldn't be able to hit if his life depended on it. Again Hayes wondered how he should manage to teach this man how to shoot. He'd rather teach Porthos, with him he'd had better chances.

**Stamets:**

He heard the muffled giggles and whispered jokes when he gave the phaser riffle to the next.

"Try some glasses."

sneered the MACO at him. Paul felt his whole face glow red. He felt deeply ashamed. It wasn't that he couldn't fire a phaser. But admittedly not on this level. The small balls moved fast, and the pressure to perform, or suffer from the insults, didn't help either.  
When Paul thought this was already bad, he didn't know what was to come. Because short after that he made a fatal error and his life turned into hell.

**Hayes:**

Hayes was sitting in the back of a shuttlepod together with two of his men, Hoshi and Stamets. They were going to investigate on an alien space station which seemed to be abandoned but they hoped to find something here that helped with the mission. Hoshi was there to help translate the foreign computer system and Stamets was supposed to find something useful in there. Hoshi in her typical "Let's all be friends" way was talking to Stamets. The usual touchy stuff "it must be so hard for you to be here, do you miss your friends back home?" Stamets answered that there were a few people he missed, some colleagues he was close to. Then he mentioned that his boyfriend died a while ago and all heads turned. That explained a lot, Hayes thought. Being a poof was a perfect match. No wonder he couldn't take this whining pussy seriously.

**Stamets:**

He immediately knew he had made a mistake. The way everyone looked at him. He was so used to talk openly about these things. He forgot, that he was 100 years in the past and surrounded by soldiers. Perfect. As if these assholes didn't have already enough reasons to mock him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brown is that guy from Episode Harbinger. I chose him because he looked unfriendly. I wanted to take the tall guy who kicked Travis down, but he has no name. At least I couldn’t find it. So I chose Brown instead.

**Stamets:**

Bastards! Brutal, primitive bastards! All of them! He hissed and tried to get back on his feet. Corporal Brown grinned and looked very pleased. He was his partner for the sparring today. And how he enjoyed it. The new move they learned today wasn't even that hard. But against a practised MACO, Paul had no chance.

"Oh, did i hurt you?"

came the sneering comment from Brown. Paul ignored it. They tried again, Paul hit the mat and cried out. Damn, that really hurt.

"Pussy!"

"Yeah you hero"

Paul thought. He kept his mouth shut and got to his feet again.

**Hayes:**

He stood in a corner and watched the training. He watched Stamets and Brown closely. He noticed that the Corporal hurt the starfleet crewman more than necessary. Maybe he should say something. After all Hayes believed in fair play. And even if he didn't like Stamets he was still responsible for him. What was the matter with Stamets? The move wasn't that hard. Why kept he failing? He really asked himself.

**Stamets:**

When the training was over, he limped back to his quarters. These arrogant sharks. Beating was all they could do. He felt lonely. He had no real contact to anyone aboard. The most of the starfleet personnel treated him kindly, although even there were some people who looked down on him because he was gay. But someone to talk to, no there was no one. If he could choose someone aboard to talk to, it would be Hayes. Why? He didn't understand himself. But he wanted to know more about that man. Who was he? Where did he come from? What did he like? But he doubted, that he will ever know.

**Hayes:**

After the session Reed came over to him.

"Did you notice what Brown did?"

Reed asked.

"He practised with Mr. Stamets."

Off course he knew what Reed was up to.

"You call that practice? I call that mopping the floor with someone."

Hayes rolled his eyes, but so Reed couldn't see.

"You're exaggerating."

"No, I'm not. It's your responsibility, that your men behave. So do something."

With that Reed left. Hayes knew he was right. But he was uncertain what to do. Maybe Brown could get the wrong idea if he defended Stamets? No that kind of thinking was unworthy of an officer. His duty to protect his submissives must be more important than what others think. Hayes decided to react in case he saw something like that again.

**Stamets:**

He heard the giggling behind him. Even the small blue ball seemed to laugh at him. When his 10 seconds were up and he gave the phaser riffle to the next, he looked at the floor. The target practice was always a walk of shame for him. After him Corporal Cole shot. She was very good, her score was high. She got appreciative looks from the others and a compliment from Hayes. She sneered at him, when she went back in the row. Paul waited until it was his turn again. The MACO who gave him the riffle said

"I can lend you my telescope, maybe that helps."

Laughter from the others.

"Corporal keep your mouth shut!"

Hayes loud voice banged through the room. Immediate silence.

**Hayes:**

He watched Paul take position and the program started. Stamets tried to hit the target but he failed. He came close a few times but he didn't hit. What went wrong, Hayes asked himself again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hayes:**

With a loud bang Stamets landed on the mat. Countless times they had tried the move but that clumsy fag was not able to do it. Hayes was loosing his patience. He shouted his instructions at Stamets once again. Stamets tried again and failed.

"Are you really that stupid? It must be possible to carry out some simple movements for gods sake! Again!"

The next attempt was even worse, Hayes kicked Stamets down with all his strength. He wanted to hurt him to teach him a lesson. And for a moment Stamets struggled to breathe and whimpered in pain.

"Enough for today, this is a waste of time. I expect you to work on this and be better next time. Dismissed!"

He turned around and left the gym without looking back.

**Stamets:**

When he stood up from the mat he hissed, his arm hurt terribly. Hayes had beaten him into the mat with everything he had. A part of him admired how the soldier was always able to dose his power, to know exactly where to hit and how hard. The Major had an incredible discipline. So he knew that Hayes deliberately had used more force than necessary. In a weak moment he once imagined how it might feel to have Hayes hands on his body without the goal to hurt him. And he got hard at that thought. How he hated that arrogant prick. Most likely his hands were not able to do anything else than beating. A small part of him wanted to find out.

**Hayes:**

He had gone too far. His behaviour today was not professional. If he'd be honest his behaviour the last weeks was not exactly model like. But he never overstepped the line between being very hard and being unfair. But today he did. He sent a message to Stamets to report to his office as soon as his duties allowed it. When Stamets finally came to him, he immediately saw that his arm still hurt from the way he held it in relieving posture. Damn.

"Mr. Stamets, i apologize for my behaviour today. I allowed my frustration to influence me. I want to find a way to sort this out."

**Stamets:**

He didn't expect that.

"I accept your apology if you tell me what exactly i did wrong apart from ... well being there. That was certainly not my idea. I didn't ask for any of this."

Hayes looked at him for a while then he surprised Paul again.

"That is exactly what you did wrong. I am used to work with soldiers who are committed to what they are doing. When i explain something to you, i have the feeling you are doing it deliberately wrong. You are not even able to hit the easiest targets with the phaser riffle. What is your problem?"

That was direct and honest, Paul appreciated that.

"I hate what we are doing. I don't want to fight. I don't want to fire phasers. I'm a scientist. I do not believe in violence."

**Hayes:**

Nothing Stamets said surprised him.

"We are at war, as long as you are on this ship you have not the luxury of being only a scientist. When the Xindi attack they do not look at the colour of your uniform and spare you because of it. Basically on this mission you are the brain, we are the muscles. My job is to protect you but you must be able to protect yourself if necessary."

Stamets looked thoughtful. There was a few moments silence then he started.

"When we do target practice and I'm standing in the middle of that room, i feel like it makes no sense to even try, because i know i will fail. And ..."

Hayes waited.

"And?"

**Stamets:**

Should he admit it? Revealing another weakness to Hayes was maybe no good idea. He decided to be honest.

"I am just too nervous to concentrate on the target. I feel the eyes of you and your man in my back. You all are just waiting for my next mistake. Sometimes my hands are almost shaking and I'm lucky to hold the riffle steady."

Hayes responded immediately.

"Get over that. You must be able to aim even under difficult circumstances."

Yes that was bloody typical.

"I need you to accept that this is necessary and try your best. Can you do that?"

Paul was aware that he didn't really have a choice, so he simply nodded. This conversation with Hayes was not exactly a break through but somehow things improved after that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hayes:**

He ended the target practice. Stamets was bad as usual. He remembered what they had talked about. He had just dismissed the group but then he said

"Mr. Stamets, please stay for a minute."

The man flinched at that. How pathetic. He went to the console and set the level of the training program to 1. He never did that before. No one should need to start at level 1, that was just sad. He gave Stamets the phaser riffle and started the program. The small ball crossed the room slowly. Stamets missed. Off course. He went to Stamets and corrected his grip and explained once again the important things about aiming the target. He tried his best to keep his voice calm. Even after several failed attempts he just said "Again." and restarted the program.

**Stamets:**

He wanted to strangle Hayes. That bloody bastard made him repeat this again and again and again. But he had to admit that this was easier. The room was empty except the two of them. And the targets moved slower. And Hayes repeated his instructions. When he hit the target for the first time, Hayes even said "good". Then they tried again. They repeated it until Paul managed to hit the target at least three times in 10 seconds. He hated Hayes for this. And he was thankful that he tried to make it easier for him. Later when we was in his quarters he remembered how Hayes hands felt on his arms and hands when he corrected him. It had felt nice.

**\---**

Over the next weeks, Hayes and Paul learned to work together. Hayes tried to remain calm, that made it easier for Paul to follow his instructions. Paul improved during their lessons. That made Hayes more relaxed. He still was an ass, he still insulted him. But Paul learned to hit back to a certain degree. He countered his remarks and somehow he just got used to the whole thing. They even started to talk outside the training sessions. One day, when the messhall was almost completely full, Hayes sat down on his table. And for the first time they talked about something different than their training. After that it happened from time to time that they sat at the same table even if there was enough space to avoid it. Off course that didn't go unnoticed. There were critical looks from other tables at their direction. It was a strange relationship. And it got stranger after that one day in the armory.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how a starfleet console looks from the inside, so i made something up :)

**Hayes:**

No, not now! Hayes almost kicked the console. Why had this crap always had to break at the worst possible moment? He had to finish this. Reed waited for his results. He called engineering and Commander Tucker answered. 

"Can you spear someone to repair my console in the armory?"

"I'm sorry Major, we are a little busy right now. Maybe in two hours."

"I can't wait that long!"

"I'm sorry but that is the best I can do. Tucker out."

Damn! Off course his problem had a low priority. That was bloody typical. Then he remembered that Stamets was off duty at the moment. He could ask him. It was worth a try.

**Stamets:**

Paul thought it was a joke at first. Hayes asked him for help? That suited that bastard. Treating him like shit but when Hayes needed help he was good enough. But for some reason he said yes and went to the armory. He asked Hayes what the problem was and the major said somehow his console stopped working. These soldiers and their problem descriptions. "Something, somehow, somewhere." Luckily they were more precise when they fired their phaser riffles.

**Hayes:**

He watched Stamets open the console and start searching for the problem. He turned his attention to something else while the other man worked. Until he heard him curse. He went closer. 

"... go to hell, I need a third hand."

"Can I help you?"

**Stamets:**

Paul snorted and swallowed a comment that with Hayes help the console would most likely explode. Instead he explained the problem. There was a bunch of cables, all held by a big frame. The frame was bolted to the walls inside of the console but some of the screws were broken. The frame lost contact to the wall and was about to fall down and took all the cables with him. Some of the cables were already plugged out. That is what caused the malfunction in the first place. Plugging out all cables, fix the frame and then plug everything back in would take much time. Then he had an idea.

"Maybe you could hold the whole bundle in place while I fix the frame?", he asked Hayes.

"Off course."

Hayes knelt down next to him and Paul showed him what to do. Then he got his tools and started to work. While he did that, his hands touched Hayes' several times. He could not help it in the narrow slot. Every time he touched Hayes’ skin it felt like a small electric shock. He suddenly realized how close the Major was. His heartbeat increased.

"OK, that's it, thank you."

**Hayes:**

He was about to get up again when he noticed Stamets staring at him with a strange expression in his eyes. He noticed that Stamets eyes went down to his lips and back up. The distance between them decreased. What the hell was happening? Their lips connected and Hayes was unable to move. He could not quite process this. Did Stamets just kiss him? It felt like that. His mind came back from its paralysis. He pushed Paul back, hard. 

"What the hell are you think you are doing?"

**Stamets:**

That was a very good question. He had been so lost in Hayes eyes that he didn't realize that he moved closer at first. And then the urge to kiss him grew too strong so that he actually did it. 

"I kissed you." 

"You don't say! I want an explanation!" 

"You will get it as soon as i have one." 

Then he stood up, gathered his tools and left.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hayes:**

Hayes waited for Stamets in the gym for a sparring lesson. And he hoped Stamets had a really good explanation for what he did yesterday in the armory. What the hell had gotten into that man to kiss him? Sure Stamets was gay maybe that must have happened sooner or later. But what Hayes really was worried about was that for a very short moment the kiss felt good.

**Stamets:**

What was he supposed to say to Hayes? What had gotten into him to kiss the Major? Sure he was gay but that didn't mean he wanted to hump anything in sight! And definitely not a bastard like him. But the kiss had felt good.

**Hayes:**

The door opened and Stamets entered the room. He wondered what caused him to like the kiss. He didn't find men attractive. And definitely not that kind of man! But still ... there was something about Stamets.

**Stamets:**

He looked at Hayes and still didn't know what to tell him. Maybe Hayes forgot about it.

"I'm still waiting for an explanation!"

Ok, he didn't forget.

"I'm afraid, i can't give you one. It just happened."

"Things like that don't just happen!"

"Yes they do! Can you always say for sure why exactly you are attracted to someone?"

**Hayes:**

Attracted?

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"That means 'i can't tell you why' will have to do."

At the moment Hayes was more concerned about the fact itself than the 'why'.

"You didn't seem too reluctant yourself."

That was impertinent. "You're wrong."

"No, I'm not. You liked it."

**Stamets:**

From the look on Hayes face he could tell that he was right.

"So maybe next time don't push me away and you will like it even more."

"There will be no next time!"

"We'll see about that."

**Hayes:**

He was sitting at his desk in his quarters, reading reports. When the door chimed he got up and opened. He was surprised to see Stamets standing there with a nervous look on his face. When he didn't say something, Stamets asked

"May i come in?"

He gestured him to enter and wondered what the crewman could want from him. He waited that Stamets would say something.

"How can i help you?"

Stamets looked even more nervous.

"I wanted ... uhm ... i mean ... what i want to say is ..."

Hayes noticed that Stamets face was blushed. His curiosity was piqued.

**Stamets:**

What was he supposed to say? On his way here he practiced the excuse he wanted to use. Something with problems with his training schedule. But now he stood here his head was empty.

"How about you sit down and start again."

Hayes gestured him to sit down on his desk chair. Hayes himself sat on his bunk. Surprised by his politeness Paul stared at him for a few seconds, then sat down. He took a deep breath. His brain started to remember a few things.

"Major, i have some difficulties with the exercises you gave me for my daily workout. I thought maybe you can help me with that."

There was silence for a while.

**Hayes:**

That was the reason he came here? He could have asked that after their training today. Obviously Stamets just needed an excuse to come to him. A pathetic attempt to cover the fact that he tried to get closer to him. OK, Hayes thought, let's play this game.

"Mr. Stamets, maybe we are faster, when you tell me with what you do not have problems of any kind?"

That was a direct hit. The impact was visible in Stamets' face immediately. The man looked down and for a moment Hayes thought he would just get up and go.

**Stamets:**

That was bloody typical for that bastard. But he would not give up so easily.

"You are right, that would be faster. But there is this one exercise i have especially trouble with at the moment."

Silence again, then Hayes said, "In your old life there was not much time for workout it seems. Was life on that other ship so differently?"

Paul stared at him. What was he supposed to answer. If he didn't give him too many details it might be OK, to talk about that.

"I spend my days mostly in my laboratory. There was not much time for something else. And this activity was not exactly suitable to stay in shape."

Hayes pressed his lips together for a moment.

"That much is obvious. With you I have to start at 0."

Paul sighed.

"I'm trying! I'm in the gym every day and do all the exercises you gave me in my schedule."

Hayes cocked his head at that.

"I believe you, but sadly it didn't help until know. But OK, i will help you. Tomorrow I can go through that exercise with you."

Paul was surprised. "Thank you!", he said and he meant it.

They continued a while to talk about Pauls old life on Discovery. It was nice, Paul enjoyed it. When Hayes stopped being an ass for 5 minutes, he was almost human. Paul stood up to go and Hayes walked to the door control to open. Before his hand reached the button, Paul moved his hand to Hayes face and placed his hand against his cheek. Only for a few seconds, then he realized what he did and pulled his hand back. He blushed and said

"Thank you Major, good night."

**Hayes:**

"Good night."

He closed the door after Paul left. He still felt his touch on his cheek. What was that? He guessed the real reason why Stamets came to him. Was he now going to hit on him on a regular basis? Well, he was able to prohibit that. But wanted he to? Somehow it felt nice. Talking to him. He didn't ran out from his mean comment. And hearing about his old life was nice too. Interesting somehow. And that touch. Damn, why did that feel good?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Here it gets intimate for the first time, so if you don’t like that, don’t read it.

**Stamets:**

During the next weeks Paul tried very carefully to convince Hayes that his hands would not fall off his wrists every time he touched him. During their training sessions together nothing changed. He got his ass kicked as always and listened to the insults coming from Hayes.  
But sometimes he came to Hayes quarters with a more or less believable excuse and sometimes managed to talk to the other man without having to stand the disapproval in Hayes' eyes. He enjoyed these conversations. But even more he enjoyed the shy kisses he stole from the soldier. Even after they kissed a couple of times, Hayes still reacted to the first contact of their lips as if he got burned and pulled away. Then Paul took his face into his hands to hold him in place and continued to press his mouth on Hayes lips until he stopped resisting and finally returned the kiss. He was always very careful never to overstep a border. He knew Hayes needed this soft force to be able to let it happen. But he would never actually force him. Besides that Hayes could tear him into pieces easily if he wanted to. He melted into these kisses and he was sure Hayes enjoyed it too even if he would rather bite off his tongue than admit it.  
Sometimes a kiss was all he got. When he felt particularly brave, he started to move his hands over Hayes body, always careful not to touch forbidden areas. He kept his hands where it was safe (as far as safe goes here), arms, shoulders, the upper part of his back. He did not want to risk that Hayes stopped everything when he tried to touch more intimate places. And he liked what he felt under his hands. Hayes' body was beautiful. But that was something Paul would never admit. He distasted these violent soldiers after all. But why was it then, that he just couldn't keep his hands from slipping under Hayes shirt one day, not able to keep them from stroking the bare skin? And why did he get so painfully hard when he heard Hayes moan quietly as his fingertips rubbed his nipples? He was ashamed to say it aloud but he wanted this man.

**Hayes:**

How the hell could this happen? The only valid reaction, when Paul’s hands moved under his shirt, would have been to break his neck. Instead he let him and he felt deeply embarrassed when he couldn't suppress a moan as Paul stimulated his nipples. This was not acceptable, it was humiliating, but it felt good. So good that he tried to keep himself from making more noises by deepening the kiss, pushing his tongue into Paul’s mouth. It has been so long since he got hard from someone else's touch.  
His brain capitulated and he watched Paul unzipping his uniform. He didn't resist when Paul took off first his own shirt than Hayes'. He shed all his dignity and lost himself in the feeling of bare skin on skin. Paul had started to kiss his neck. He had found that spot right under his jaw bone, where he got mad when someone touched it. He did a poor job at hiding his reaction so Paul knew immediately that he found a hot spot and intensified his effort. He kissed and liked that spot until Hayes was no longer able to stay silent. He gasped and tightened his grip on Paul’s shoulders, pulling him closer. He wanted ... what? Since his higher brain functions were turned off and there was no default plan for something like this, he felt a little helpless. All he knew was that he didn't want Paul move his hand between his legs. Neither did he want him to stroke his cock trough his pants. And when Paul opened his pants and slipped a hand in, he knew he should give him a bloody nose for this.  
But he let him. It didn't need much to get him close. He struggled against it, he would not come with this man's hand on his cock. That was wrong, he was supposed say no. But when his mouth opened all that came out was "god, yes" and he came. It took him a while to realize what just happened. He pushed Paul away, unable to look into his eyes. "You better go now" was all he managed to say.

**Stamets:**

The moment he felt Hayes semen on his hand, he came too. He had touched himself while jerking Hayes off. He had expected Hayes reaction afterwards. But it still hurt when he told him to go. He wanted nothing more than hold him now, kiss him and whisper in his ear how much he had enjoyed that. But this was still a victory after all. And he was confident, that he could get Hayes to that point again. He had to be careful, this was very fragile. It had been a long time since Paul had slept so good. In his dreams he continued what he started in Hayes’ quarters and in his dreams he fell asleep in the other mans arms. Damn, he was in love.

**Hayes:**

Hayes felt incredibly awkward the next days. He still could not believe what happened. He wanted to believe it was a dream, but the way Paul looked at him when no one else was around, told him it was not. When he was in his quarters he was constantly listening to the door if maybe Paul would drop by. Was he actually waiting for him? No off course not, he wanted him to visit so he could tell him to piss off and never touch him again if he wanted to keep all his fingers. But before he could do that, the Captain called him to tell him that he would go on an away mission. A rather dangerous one, and he was leaving immediately not knowing if and when he will come back.


	10. Chapter 10

**Stamets:**

Hayes was away for two days now. He shouldn't have waited so long. He did not visit him the next days after that wonderful evening in Hayes’ quarters, because he was afraid that Hayes would tell him to go for good. Now he maybe would never have the chance to tell him how he felt. Not that he wanted to tell him. Admitting that he fell in love with that primitive bastard? No way. But if Hayes didn't come back from that mission he would regret forever not to let him know. When he was not busy working or getting beaten by MACOs he was waiting. He was barely eating and sleeping so he spent most of the time in engineering even if he was not on duty. He always found something to do. Off course Trip noticed that and one day he came to him and started the conversation very directly.

"Worried, huh? These MACOs are hard to kill, he will come back."

He looked at Tucker not sure what to say. How did he know? 

"I don't know what you mean Commander."

"Ah come on, it is written on your forehead."

Shit. He needed to work on his pokerface. 

"You should get some rest. You look horrible."

"I appreciate your concern Commander but I'm fine."

"I insist. Go to your quarters and sleep, that's an order."

There was nothing he could say to that, so he tried. He was turning in his bed from one side to the other. Until he heard Tuckers voice on the intercom. 

"Tucker to Stamets. The away team is back. Major Hayes is injured in sickbay."

Paul jumped out of his bed and almost run. Only when he entered sickbay he realized how stupid this was. The last thing Hayes wanted, was to see him. And he would rip him apart for acting this way in front of others. But he needed to know if Hayes was OK.

**Hayes:**

He could only see on one eye. He was blind on the other because it was swollen. He didn't know what other injuries he had, everything hurt and Phlox didn't examine him yet. He had told the Doctor to take care of his men first. The door opened and he needed a few seconds to realize it was Paul. Stamets looked around the room, saw him and came over to his bed. He looked at him and the anxiety was clearly visible on his face. What a poor bloke. Hayes wanted to be mean. Let Paul know how pitiful this was. He distasted weakness after all. And Paul was weakness incarnate. 

"Are you OK?", Paul asked with a shaking voice.

Oh please. "Only a few scratches."

He knew that was far away from true but he would not let Paul know that he was in pain. The honest concern in Paul’s face was almost touching. So Paul would have missed him if he hadn’t come back. Most likely even cried for him. Not that he would appreciate that. But somehow all the bitchy remarks got stuck in his throat and he just looked in these caring eyes. He didn't even flinch when Paul took his hand. 

"Gentlemen, i have to start the treatment.", Phlox had sneaked up on them.

Paul nodded and left. On one of the other beds one of his MACOs was looking directly at him, obviously he had been watching all the time. Bloody hell. How could he be that careless?

**Stamets:**

Paul was trying to resist the urge to go back to sickbay to check on Hayes. Phlox surely must have finished his treatment by now. No, once was already too much. He had a small rest of pride after all. He managed to convince himself of that for another couple of hours then he went back. But Phlox told him, Hayes was not there anymore. 

"Major Hayes is in his quarters. I wanted to keep him here but he insisted."

That didn't surprise Paul the least. So he went to Hayes’ quarters trying to think of an excuse for visiting. When Hayes opened his door, Paul knew immediately why Phlox wanted to keep him in sickbay. His eye was still swollen badly. His right arm was in a sling. And he moved slowly. He bit his lip not to say something about that. A tough guy like Hayes didn't want to hear things like that. 

"Your arm is broken?"

"No, i got a shot wound on the shoulder. I have only two broken ribs."

He almost sounded proud. And off course he made it sound like nothing. Paul couldn't stop himself from touching Hayes cheek. Maybe he should take advantage of his injuries. Hayes could take him down even with only one hand, but with two broken ribs it would be harder. So he kissed him. Very softly, he didn't want to arouse him, he only wanted to show that he cared. He couldn't say it aloud, but he could show him. Surprisingly Hayes didn't pull back. After an eternity he ended the kiss and looked at Hayes. The Major was clearly tired. He swallowed everything that started with "You should get some sleep". Instead he said, "I have some work to do, i will come back later." That sounded not so worried.

**Hayes:**

It was not easy to get out of his uniform with only one hand and being in pain at every move he made. All the time he thought about what just happened. That was another poor performance from him. He didn't show how bad his injuries really were but he left the announcement, that Paul would come back, unpunished. When he finally stripped down to his shirt and boxers he went to bed and almost immediately fell asleep. After some hours of sleep and a visit from Paul in his dreams he felt almost better. He took a shower and only when he had finished he realized that taking his clothes back on was even more difficult than taking them off. He just managed to get into his boxers when someone chimed at the door. 

"Who it is?" 

"It's me, Paul." 

He was annoyed and relived at the same time. Annoyed because he actually came back so soon and relieved because that meant he didn't have to open the door for Captain Archer or Lieutenant Reed in his underpants. But showing himself to Paul like this wasn't a good idea either. And asking him to wait for another minute was ridiculous, because he would need at least 20 minutes to get fully dressed. He could tell him to piss off. Instead he opened. Paul’s eyes grew wide for a second. Hayes started to explain. 

"I just had a shower and since I'm a bit handicapped I need some time to get dressed." 

Damn he just admitted that he was in pain. Paul entered the room. 

"I got you breakfast. Something you can eat with one hand."

That was very thoughtful. He looked at the sandwich Paul placed on his desk. As if it were the most normal thing in the world, Paul grabbed the shirt Hayes was about to take on and said 

"I will help you." 

"Definitely not!" 

"Oh come on, don't be so damn proud. I got it you are the toughest guy around but now let me help you."

**Stamets:**

Crap, he didn't mean to be that bitchy. Hayes would throw him out. He gave his best to ignore the fact that Hayes was almost naked. He did not think about what he was doing when he manoeuvred Hayes injured arm into the sleeve and pulled the shirt over Hayes head. Hayes hissed once, no wonder, that wound really looked bad. When he continued to help the MACO into his pants he was surprised that he was still in one piece. When Hayes was fully clothed he thought that very soon he would revert this process and help Hayes out of his uniform. That idiot wanted to go back to duty even in his condition. Paul did not argue. 

"Fine you fool, show them all what a hero you are." 

He gave Hayes a light kiss on the lips and left.


	11. Chapter 11

**Stamets:**

The next few days were hard for Paul. Since Hayes was still half blind and hardly able to move, his private lessons were paused. But the group sessions with the other MACOs were worse than ever. He tried desperately to execute a new move on his sparring partner but failed miserably. Corporal Brown knocked him down easily every time. And he used far more force than necessary. Brown always chose him as partner, when he had the chance. That bloody sadist. He obviously enjoyed that. After a particularly painful blow the man sneered and said "too bad that your boyfriend is not here to protect you. That is why you suck his cock, isn't it?" Paul didn't bother to answer, he had learned to ignore these kind of remarks. He made a big mistake coming to sickbay. He gave himself away and Hayes would kill him for it. That moment Browns fist hit him in the face and he went down bleeding.

**Hayes:**

His office door opened and Reed came in. 

"Major, we need to talk about the last drill."

Hayes wondered what happened this time. 

Reed explained, "Corporal Brown not only caused physical injuries on Mr. Stamets he could have easily avoided. He insulted him in a way that is just not acceptable."

Reed waited that Hayes would say something. He thought about what he just heard. He had to do something, that much was clear. 

He said to Reed, "Thank you Lieutenant, i will take care of the problem." 

Reed looked at him. "Make sure you do, this is not funny anymore."

**Stamets:**

Paul opened the door to his quarters and could not believe his eyes when Hayes stood at his door. This was the first time he came to him. When Hayes saw the bruises in Paul’s face he asked what happened. 

"Just a collision with one of your men. With his fist to be precise."

Hayes looked closer at the injury and said "This looks a little too bad for a training accident. My men are giving you are hard time."

"Yes, they do." 

"I will take care of that." 

Paul was more than a bit surprised. Was that real compassion? 

"Thank you."

He didn't know what else to say. 

"Why are you here?" 

Hayes looked suddenly very uncomfortable. 

"Lieutenant Reed mentioned that the drill today didn't go so well." 

So he wanted to check if he was OK? That was worth getting punched in the face. Before he could stop himself he said it aloud. 

"If that is the result, i should encourage your men to do this more often." 

Before he knew what happened Hayes kissed him. For the first time he took the initiative. Even if it was only a very short kiss. 

"What is your first name?" 

"Excuse me?" 

"Your first name. I mean were kissing, were making out, I would like to call you by your name."

Hayes did not answer. Wrong question. 

"OK soldier, I guess it stays formal then."

**Hayes:**

It took another week until Hayes was healthy enough to do the drills himself again. When he ordered to build pairs, he noticed how enthusiastic Corporal Brown paired up with Paul. He surly enjoyed tormenting him. Hayes was determined to put a stop to this. He waited for the right moment. Then he saw Brown give Paul a punch and Paul's lip started bleeding. OK, that might happen, he normally wasn't upset about a little blood. But after a while Brown gave him another punch at the same spot and this time the punch was not even part of the move he executed. That was enough. 

"Corporal Brown", everyone in the room went silent.

Hayes walked over to Paul and Brown. 

"Corporal your behaviour is out of line. This drill is over for you. You will report to my office later. This will have consequences. Dismissed!"

He turned to Paul. 

"Mr. Stamets, please go to sickbay and let Phlox take care of your injuries." 

Paul nodded and left the room.

**Stamets:**

When Hayes shouted at Brown, everyone in the room looked at them. When Hayes was like this, he was frightening. He had an authority that no one questioned. When Hayes ordered him to sickbay he resisted to smile at him, that would have looked suspicious. So he just nodded and left.

**Hayes:**

Corporal Brown stood in his office at attention. 

"Corporal how do you explain your behaviour today?"

The young man tried to stay calm. 

"Sir, we were just practising." 

Hayes stepped closer and his voice contained clearly a warning when continued. 

"Everyone in my team must be able to control his strength. And his impulses. Hitting someone deliberately where he is already bleeding and completely out of context of the move you are practising is a violation of that." 

The MACO went pale. 

"As punishment for your behaviour today, you will take some extra shifts with Lieutenant Reed in security. And for the future, I expect you to behave in a way befitting a MACO. Another incident like this and I have to consider if you are worthy being part of my team. Did I make myself clear?" 

The Corporal stood even more straight when he said 

"Yes, sir!" 

"Dismissed!", Hayes shouted and the Corporal fled from the room.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another intimate chapter.

**Hayes:**

Hayes felt very tired. He tried to stop recalling the day in his head again and again. When the chime ringed he knew it was Paul. Did he just hurry to get to the door to open? 

"How can i help you?" 

Paul smiled. 

"I wanted to thank you, for what you did today." 

Hayes wanted to forget about that. 

"You're welcome." 

Hopefully that was all. 

"A real thank you, not just words." 

Paul kissed him. No shy, careful kiss, but deep and passionate. Without thinking he opened his mouth for Paul’s tongue. Why must this feel so good? Paul started to undress him. He kissed and licked his neck. His pinched his nipples. Damn, he just had a conflict with one of his men because of this insanity. He really shouldn't do this.

**Stamets:**

He wanted Hayes naked, now. Efficiently he removed both their clothes. At a certain point Hayes seemed to realize what was going to happen. A half-hearted attempted to stop him. But when Hayes grabbed his wrist to keep him from open his pants, he took that hand, kissed the palm, placed it on his chest, and slowly moved it down to his own cock. Even through the pants this felt amazing. When Hayes started to rub him, he thought he would go mad. He pressed his mouth on that sensible spot on Hayes neck and sucked carefully. Hayes moaned loudly. Today Paul wanted to find all the spots that would make Hayes sound like this. He finished his task of getting them both naked, regretting that he had to interrupt what Hayes did to his dick. Then he pushed Hayes back onto his bed.

**Hayes:**

He looked at the man on top of him as naked as he was. What was he about to do? He could ask but that would sound weak, like he was afraid of it. Why did he let him start this in the first place? Paul kissed his way down. When his tongue played with his nipple he resisted the urge to hold his head in place, so he would continue doing this. He watched Paul move from one side to the other, and then going further down. The moment Paul reached his cock, he flinched. "No!"

**Stamets:**

"Why not? I want to say thank you." 

He knew the answer. Hayes sighed. 

"Please Paul, don't make it so hard to resist." 

Paul closed his eyes for a moment, then he got back up and looked Hayes in the eyes. 

"I want you to stop resisting for absurd reasons. If you don't like what I'm doing, if you find me too ugly, OK. But don't push me away only because I have a cock ... please." 

Hayes pressed his lips together. 

"That is not so easy."

**Hayes:**

What the hell? Was he justifying why he didn't want his cock in a mans mouth? 

"If I say I don't want to, then I don't want to." 

Paul looked hurt at that. 

"You're right, I'm sorry" he whispered. 

Hayes moved his hand to Paul’s face, stroked his lips with his thumb and imagined this mouth on his cock. He swallowed, it would be nice ... 

"OK, if you really want to, then suck me, but not as a payment for doing my job."

**Stamets:**

Paul smiled and hurried to get started before Hayes changed his mind. 

"You can come in my mouth, you don't have to warn me." 

Hayes tasted good. He stroked, licked and sucked. Hayes was writhing under him. He tasted precome and tried to get him as deep into his mouth as possible. 

**Hayes:**

He desperately tried to stop his hips from thrusting upwards. He didn't want to push his cock deeper than Paul allowed it to. Paul told him he could come just like that but he still felt it necessary at least to announce his orgasm. 

"Paul, I'm coming" he said hoarsely. 

Then he almost screamed, damn that was good. When Paul moved up he averted his eyes for a moment. He felt slightly ashamed. Did he enjoy that too much? Wasn't he supposed to hate this? Did Paul expect him to reciprocate? He didn't think about that. 

"Do you ... uhm ... want me to ..."

**Stamets:**

He smiled, Hayes was cute like this. Off course he didn't expect him to do the same. This was supposed to convince Hayes that it was fun having him in his bed, not to scare him off completely. But it would be nice if he jerked him off. If he could ask for that? 

"Maybe if you like to ... i mean you don't have to ..." 

Now he started stuttering too. 

"Would you touch my cock? You really don't have to but I'd like that very much." 

Hayes actually moved his hand down and started stroking him. He was about to kiss him, when he stopped shortly before touching Paul’s mouth with his lips.

**Hayes:**

This was not going to taste very good. If he cancelled the kiss now, Paul would know why and maybe laugh about that. Maybe only a light kiss without tongue. Same here. It was kind of exhausting trying to keep that mask on all the time. Maybe he could take it off for a few minutes. It did slip a few times already tonight. So while his hand still worked on Paul’s cock, he connected their lips. He opened them just a little bit, closed them again. Paul seemed to understand and just held still. Until he suddenly pulled back, cried out and came.

**Stamets:**

He enjoyed these rare moments so much when Hayes took his "I am the invincible soldier"-mask off for a while. He liked what was under that mask. A lot. Hopefully one day Hayes would no longer wear it at all when they are together.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is were the rating starts.

**Stamets:**

Since Hayes had given Corporal Brown that dressing down, he behaved slightly better. At least Paul had no longer to be afraid of physical attacks. Hayes actually lowered his barriers a bit and when Paul visited him in his quarters he had no longer to fight for each kiss. He still was careful, he didn’t want to scare Hayes. But the more intimate they got, the more difficulties had Paul to hold back. He wanted the other man so badly. Like tonight. He was going to go mad, very soon. He was in Hayes bed, naked, touching and kissing the other man. And he was horny as hell. Before he could stop himself he whispered 

"Please, fuck me." 

He knew Hayes had heard him, because he stopped dead and looked at him like he had asked to eat him alive. 

"What? You mean ... You want me to ..." 

"I want you to take me, please, it's been forever, i want you." 

God, he begged, this was without any dignity. 

"I can't ... i don't even know how ..." 

"I show you, you will like it, i promise" 

Hayes blushed and looked adorable like this. Paul took Hayes hand in his and guided him down between his legs. He had somehow managed to get Hayes used to touching his cock, he will be able to do this too. When he placed Hayes fingers between his ass cheeks, Hayes tried to pull away half hearted, but Paul softly held his hand in place. 

"Just touch me there." 

While Hayes slowly started to move his fingers over his entrance, Paul reached for his uniform on the floor. He bit his lips when Hayes touched a particularly sensitive spot. He searched his pocket for the small bottle with lube he had placed in there hoping he would need it someday.

**Hayes:**

When Paul gave him the bottle, he knew what he was supposed to do with it's content. He hesitated. Pushing his fingers up Paul’s ass? That was disgusting, repugnant, ... gay. But anyway, picturing himself on top of Paul, pushing into him, made him hard. Fucking him sounded good, somehow. Fucking his ass, did not. Besides that, if he did that now, it would mean he really had sex with Paul, not only wanking each other or getting a blowjob but real sex. He would loose his virginity in some way. But he opened the bottle anyway. He went back down with his wet finger, not sure what to do. He started to move his finger over Paul’s opening again. Paul moaned. What sounds would he make, if he inserted his finger? He slowly pushed in. Paul closed his eyes, bit his lips and moved his hips. He actually seemed to like it. Encouraged Hayes moved his finger. What had Paul told him about that sweet spot? Maybe he was able to find it. He tried to remember where the prostate was supposed to be. He tried not to think about what he was doing right now. Then Paul gasped and whispered "Yeah, right there." This was so wrong, men shouldn't get so turned on from a finger in the butt. But he continued.

**Stamets:**

Yes, Hayes had found his sweet spot. He wanted more. He asked Hayes to add a second finger and after a while a third. He was out of practice, he needed a bit more time to get ready. He took the bottle with lube and put some on his own fingers and started to cover Hayes cock with it. 

Hayes panted "Please go slowly, otherwise you will have to fuck yourself ... literally." 

Oh, Hayes was turned on. By him. By the prospect of fucking him. 

"Then get started soldier." 

He grabbed the pillow and pushed it under his hips. Hayes looked at him almost shy. Insecure. 

"Come here." 

He pulled Hayes on top of him. 

"Just push, slowly, it's been a while." 

Hayes did as he was told. Paul closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of getting penetrated. Hayes moved inside him and Paul made no effort of being silent. 

"Yeah that's it, go on." 

When he opened his eyes again he almost came on the spot at the sight of Hayes. Sweaty, his mouth half open, making little noises, thrusting his hips against Paul’s ass. With whom he was doing this was almost better than the act itself. He finally got what he dreamed about so many times.

**Hayes:**

He was very close. But he wanted to drag it out a little longer. He enjoyed the sight of Paul under him, gasping every time, he pushed into him. He looked hot like this. If it really felt that good? Or was he just putting on a good show for him? No that was not likely, he really seemed to enjoy his hard cock in his tight ass. He would not be able to last much longer. He took Paul’s cock in his hand to make him come. He had to pull himself together really hard when Paul cried out and climaxed. 

"Do you want me to pull out?" 

It somehow felt not right to ejaculate into him without permission. 

"Definitely not!" 

That was all he needed and he came deep in Paul’s ass. He needed quite a while to catch his breath. He got off Paul and lay beside him, wrapped his arms around him and kissed him.

**Stamets:**

This must be a dream, a really good one. He just got fucked by Hayes and now he was lying in his arms. With one hand Hayes stoked his back, the other hand held his own. If this was a dream, Paul never wanted to wake up again.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The terms “sharks” and “squids” are from the novel “last full measure”. Sharks are MACOs and squids are starfleet people.  
> Richards is one of my favorite MACOS, I just like that guy.

**Hayes:**

He asked himself if he was just paranoid or if they were really staring at him. Everywhere. When he was eating in the messhall. When he worked in the armory. In the gym. During the drills. The fact that Hayes and Paul spend more and more time together and they were almost friendly to each other was noticed by some MACOs and starfleet personnel. The rumour that there was something between them spread over the ship. One day Hayes worked at his console and once again had the feeling of eyes in his back. Suddenly Reed stood beside him with a smirk in his face. 

"Interesting choice." 

"What do you mean?" 

Reed giggled. 

"I never thought I'd see that day where you actually develop a relationship with another human being. But I would have bet my butt that you are straight." 

Hayes tried to keep calm. 

"I am not gay!" 

"No, off course not." 

He wanted to punch Reed. 

"I have work to do. Go and pester someone else." 

Reed giggled again but left. So he didn't image it, they were staring at and talking about him. He wanted to die from shame.

**Stamets:**

"You are in a good mood, huh?" 

Paul looked puzzled at Trip. 

"You whistled." 

Oh. He hadn't noticed. Yes, he was in a good mood. He was in love and finally Hayes started to turn towards him. Life was not bad at the moment. 

"So, is it true? You and Major Hayes?" 

His face went blank. Shit, what should he answer. If he confirmed it, Hayes would kill him. But if he said no, Trip would think he was ashamed of people know about it. And that was not true. On the contrary, he was proud. 

"Uhm, well, ..." 

"You can admit it. The whole ship is talking about it anyway." 

Holy crap. He looked at Trip. 

"Yes, it is true." 

"You are tougher than you look if you can stand Hayes even off duty." 

Tucker smiled and returned to his work.

**Hayes:**

Corporal McKenzie was usually very focused. But during this meeting in his office Hayes noticed that she looked at him with a frown several times when he gave his instructions. He had a bad feeling that it was because of Paul. 

"Understood?"

She blushed. 

"I apologize sir. Can you please repeat the last part?" 

What the hell? 

"Pay attention Corporal!" 

She blushed even more. Hayes repeated his orders. 

"What do you think is more important than listening to me?" 

"I'm really sorry sir. There is nothing more important. I just got distracted." 

"With what?" 

"Nothing sir, really." 

"Corporal I'm loosing my patience." 

There was a threat in his voice. 

"Sir, the people on this ship are talking about you. I was just wondering if the rumours are true." 

"And what rumours are that?" 

"That you and Mr. Stamets ... are a couple." 

Hayes voice was low and dangerous. 

"Listen carefully, I will say this only once. My private life is not your concern, and if I ever hear something that ridiculous again, it will have consequences. Did I make myself clear?" 

McKenzie was clearly frightened. 

"Yes sir, perfectly." 

"Dismissed!" 

She hurried to get out of his office. As soon as the door was shut he slammed his fist against the wall.

**Stamets:**

He was in the gym doing his daily workout. The door opened and three MACOs came in. One young Private, his name was Forbes, Corporal Brown and another Corporal, his name was Richards. He belonged to the nicer MACOs. When the trio saw him they exchanged a look. They came closer. 

Brown said sneering "One lonely squid surrounded by sharks."

Paul rolled his eyes. The mockery was rather lame today. 

"If you are tired of sucking Hayes’ cock, you can have a go at mine. I mean you must be really good, otherwise Hayes wouldn't let you touch him."

Paul lost it. He attacked. Caught by surprise the MACO suffered a punch right to the face and lay one the floor with a bleeding nose. He got to his feet and fought back. Paul was so angry, he just wanted to beat the shit out of this prick. They had punched each other several times when Corporal Richards said 

"OK, that is enough. Stop it."

When they didn't listen he seized his fellow MACO and Paul was held by Forbes. Richards looked dismissively at his team mate. 

"Brown, your jokes are getting old."


	15. Chapter 15

**Stamets:**

After the incident in the gym, Hayes refused to talk to him. Every time he tried to start a conversation he blocked him. Even when he came to Hayes quarters he didn't let him in. One evening he refused to go. He stood before the closed door and shouted 

"I will stay right here until you let me in! Could draw unwanted attention!" 

That worked. Hayes opened. 

"Why are you doing this? Is it because I hit Brown? Does he want to press charges?" 

Hayes glared at him. 

"No, he won't. No Soldier would press charges because of a bloody nose. But this has gone too far. The whole ship is talking about us. If I'm very lucky it will stay here. I don't want to know what happens if any of this would reach my commanding officers on earth." 

Paul swallowed hard. 

"If I'm not mistaken there is no regulation against this relationship. I'm no MACO, I'm not even starfleet anymore."

"But you are a man for gods sake! This must stop right now! I want you to leave and don't come back!"

**Hayes:**

He saw the sadness in Paul’s face when he left. He had hurt him badly. The moment the door closed he sobbed. He cried. MACOs don't cry. Except when they just threw their love out of their life. The tears ran down his face.

**Stamets:**

The black cloud above his head was quite clearly visible for everyone. He missed his soldier so much. But after what he said the other day. That had really hurt. Trip sat down next to him when he was sorting a toolbox. 

"Bad day? What happened." 

"Hayes told me to go for good. He can't stand it, that everyone on this ship knows about us." 

Trip thought about that. 

"Give him a few days to calm down. Maybe with a clear head he will change his mind." 

"I'm not sure if I want him to. After what he said to me. He was never Mister diplomacy but this ..." 

Trip was silent for a while. 

"You still love him?" 

Paul buried his face in his hands. 

"Off course I still love him." 

"Then don't give up so easily. You did the impossible and let that gigantic ice block that is Hayes melt a little bit."

**Hayes:**

When the meeting was over Captain Archer asked him to stay for another minute. Hayes wondered if he would now get a dressing down because of his bad mood. 

"Major, usually I don't interfere with the private matters of my crew. I noticed that there was some trouble lately." 

Oh no. 

"Sir, I assure you, I will not let influence that my duties." 

The Captain looked at him with a sympathetic expression on his face. 

"That is not what I meant. I know this is not my business but if the reason for you breaking up with Mr Stamets is rude behaviour of my crew..." 

"No, sir! That is not the case." 

Another pause. 

"I'm relived to hear that. If there is anything i can do. I find it sad to see how miserable you are. Both of you." 

This was humiliating. Not only did his Captain just offer help to fix his relationship, no he obviously had been caring a banner with "I am sad because I left my boyfriend." in front of him.

**Stamets:**

He stood in front of the closed door to Hayes quarters. His finger hovering over the chime. For a long time he moved his hand close to the button then back down, and up again, and down again. He had no idea how long he stood there. Then he turned and went back to his own quarters. Hayes would not talk to him anyway. He had told him to piss off after all. If he had known that at the same time on the other side of the door Hayes was pacing back and forth only a millimetre away from opening the door to get to Paul's quarters.

**Hayes:**

Reed stormed into his office without knocking. 

"We have to talk." 

Hayes looked at him, wondering what he did to piss Reed off. 

"If it is because of that report, I'm almost done." 

Reed slammed his hand on his desk. 

"No you idiot. It is about you acting like a jerk." 

Hayes leaned back in his chair. Reed continued to spit at him. 

"So your secret is no secret anymore. Maybe some people make fun of you because of that. But i always thought you MACOs are supposed to be the bravest guys in the universe. You can't tell me that you are not able to reign your team in when they get cheeky. And you can't tell me that you don't love Paul." 

Hayes felt a lump in his throat. His voice was shaking slightly. 

"I do love him." 

Reed sat down. 

"Then why this crap? Is it really such a big problem that people know about this? Well this won't change because you broke up." 

"I know, but maybe after a while they stop talking." 

Reed took a deep breath. 

"I will tell you something. No one knows it. But I’m bisexual too. I hid it my whole life. On the rare occasions i was with a man, i did everything to keep it a secret." 

To say he was surprised was an understatement. 

"I would never have guessed. Why did you hide it?" 

"For the same reasons. I was too scared. My family would have disowned me. And I was afraid that it would hurt my career." 

"So you understand very well why I'm acting like this. Then why did you perform this little piece of drama?" 

Reed suddenly looked very sad. 

"I never met someone who was so important for me. And even if I had, I would probably have done the same as you. What you need is a good kick up the arse. You found someone who is actually able to handle you. You won the lottery. And now you are burning the ticket. Don't do that."


	16. Chapter 16

It was bitter irony that the same people who had enjoyed the most mocking this relationship now felt most guilty that it had ended. When people were staring now they were searching for a sign that the two men would make a move towards each other. Both men wanted the other back but both thought it was not mutual. Sometimes one looked at the other with sad eyes and the moment the other head turned around quickly looked away. Both lay in bed at night with a broken heart. And both cried.

Until that day in the gym. Paul was about to leave the moment Hayes came in. For a long while they looked at each other not aware that everyone in the room stopped dead and watched. When Paul broke the eye contact and started moving towards the door, Hayes stepped into his way and touched his arm to keep him from leaving. He moved both hands up to Paul’s face, caressing his cheeks. And then he kissed him. Their lips barely touched.

In perfect silence they went to Hayes’ quarters. Both were afraid that talking could somehow break the spell. They made love. Deep kisses, soft touches, whispered endearments. Afterwards they held each other tightly, determined to never let go of each other again.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another explicit chapter.  
> I’m assuming Hayes first name is Jeremiah, because he has that name in the customizable card game.

**Hayes:**

That bet had been an exceedingly bad idea. Since they were officially a couple Hayes had transferred the responsibility for Paul’s training to one of his men. And he had challenged him to beat Corporal Kelly in a shooting contest. Paul hasn't been too enthusiastic. So he gave him the prospective of a reward if he succeeded. Then Paul had grinned and said "When I win I'm going to get your ass." That was something Hayes still hasn't allowed. But OK, how likely was it, that Paul actually managed to hit more targets than one of his best MACOs? He was sure his butt would stay untouched.

**Stamets:**

Paul couldn't help himself but smiling widely. That was 8 hits. The Corporal had 7. He got some strange looks when he handed the phaser riffle to the next in the row. It was luck, off course. Or the Corporal had a really bad day. Most likely both. But anyway, he won the bet. That was going to be a very nice evening. Since he didn't need to persuade Hayes constantly they could just see each other because that is what happy couples do, isn't it? So he could visit him tonight just because he wanted to, without an excuse. He pictured himself how he would Hayes prepare for his cock, his lover would spread his legs for him willingly ... OK that was unlikely. And he needed to stop thinking about that, this uniform wasn't exactly made to hide a boner.

**Hayes:**

"Damn that gay squid!"

Hayes knew who was meant by that. What was the Corporal so upset about? Three MACOs had just entered the gym. When the soldiers saw that Hayes was there they went quiet immediately. There was a kind of unspoken deal between them. The MACOs respected Hayes relationship with Paul and he overheard comments like this. He was curious what happened but he would never ask his men. Paul would tell him later, he was sure. Wait a minute, the target practice ended about 20 minutes ago. What if ... No that can't be it. The Corporal surly was in a bad mood because Paul had a very bad score. It must be like that!

**Stamets:**

This day just refused to end. He must somehow radiate his anticipation, because people were grinning at him. It was really nice that he no longer needed to hide his affection for Hayes. The MACOs still didn't exactly love him, but they had stopped being mean. When they made fun of him it was much more civil. Today after the target practice Corporal Kelly even congratulated him through gritted teeth for his good score. Paul counted the minutes until his duty shift would end.

**Hayes:**

When he saw Paul’s message he got nervous. Very, very nervous. "Hey soldier, tonight you are going to beg me to fuck you harder. Say thanks to Corporal Kelly." So tonight it was going to happen. The shorter the time to his date with Paul, the more anxious he got. "Pull yourself together, you are no pussy." he grumbled at himself. He knew off course that this was not about enduring something uncomfortable. He was going to do something very intimate with the man he loved and he was supposed to enjoy it. He knew his lover would never force him into something. Even if he now admitted that he was too scared and asked him to cancel his plans, he would understand. Paul would be disappointed but he cared too much about him to insist on getting his reward.

**Stamets:**

When he entered Hayes’ quarters, he saw right away that his lover was scared. He had to do something about it. After a long kiss he thought before he could start this evening properly he needed a shower. 

"Come with me."

he whispered in Hayes ear. He stripped and went to the bathroom. Surprisingly Hayes actually followed him. The sight of the naked man still aroused Paul immensely. He turned the water on, got some soap and started to cover Hayes body with foam. This was a nice kind of foreplay. Hayes hands did the same to him and he was hard as a rock. He could have done this forever, it felt so good. He moved one hand to Hayes ass and slid his fingers between his cheeks.

**Hayes:**

"Relax"

he told himself. Paul messaged his entrance with slippery fingers. Then he felt one finger press against it. He tried to let loose. But when he felt the finger slide in he cramped. Paul kissed him and took his cock in his other hand. Paul continued like this slowly until Hayes managed to relax. The water washed the soap off them and Paul moved his finger in and out of Hayes. He got used to the feeling but he could not imagine how this was supposed to be fun. Speaking of fun. He dropped to his knees and when he had Paul’s cock on eye level he was wondering for a moment how this was going to fit into him. No way. This was the first time he licked his lovers dick. He never had wanted to humiliate himself like this. Off course it was no humiliation to pleasure his partner. The logical part of him knew that. But it was still hard to ignore the other part that still felt like two men shouldn't do things like this with each other.

**Stamets:**

He couldn't believe his eyes. Was Hayes actually going to ... god yes. That tongue felt heavenly. When Hayes carefully took him into his mouth he had to pull himself together. He was not able to stand this for very long and he had plans for the evening. So he pulled Hayes back up and kissed him. 

"Come soldier, lets continue this next door."

They dried each other off and moved to the bed. Paul took his time to cover Hayes body with kisses before he again moved his hand into the "danger zone". He took some lube and did the same he had done in the shower. He tried his best to distract Hayes by licking his nipples and stroking his cock. His finger searched for Hayes prostate it must be somewhere there ...

**Hayes:**

Bloody hell what was that? He had believed Paul when he said that a prostate message was heaven but he guessed it was because, well Paul was ... predisposed to like these things. He had to admit this was nice. But when Paul added a second finger he had a harder time to stay relaxed. After all Paul was doing this to stretch him far enough for his dick. A part of him wanted to stay tight, so Paul couldn't get in. But he tried. Tried to switch off his head and just concentrate on Paul’s tongue in his mouth and his hand on his cock. He took a third finger and let Paul stretch him. 

"You ready?"

No he wasn't. At least his head wasn't, his body maybe. But if they waited for his head they would never do this. "Sometimes you just get screwed." Hayes thought. And nodded.

**Stamets:**

"You're lying." 

Paul wasn't sure if it was right to go on. He wanted this so badly but he wanted to make sure Hayes was OK with this. He knew Hayes well enough by now to know that his pride kept him from chicken out of this. But on the other side his pride made it necessary to have a reason to do this. Like that idiotic bet. Having to pay this reward to Paul was a reason to get over his pride. Paul just wanted to be sure that he didn't overstep the fine line between "i can not admit that i kind of like it even if my head doesn't let me" and "i can not admit that this is too much".

**Hayes:**

"Yes, I'm lying. But do it anyway." 

"You're sure?" 

Paul was sweet. 

"Yes." 

He watched as Paul covered his cock with lube. Then he pushed a pillow under Hayes hips and held his dick against Hayes opening. There was still time to stop this. Paul pushed and Hayes tried desperately not to cramp. He grabbed Paul’s shoulders. 

"Almost got it soldier, just a little more." 

Something in Hayes decided to just capitulate to the situation. He was going to get fucked. Another push and the head of Paul’s dick was inside him. He gasped. 

"Worst is over." 

Paul moved slowly in and out, sliding a little deeper every time. It was not that bad. It didn't hurt it just felt strange. By now Paul had his full length inside him and thrust harder. Paul looked amazing like this. His eyes closed, his head thrown back, panting loudly. Giving his lover this much pleasure was worth this.

**Stamets:**

He was aware that Hayes wasn't exactly in ecstasy. 

"Can I do anything to make it better for you?" 

Anyway Hayes wouldn't have to endure this much longer, he was close. 

"It's alright, i guess this needs some practice." 

That was true. And did that mean, Hayes would allow him to take him again? To get practice? 

"I'm going to come very soon, i can pull out if you want." 

He guessed that Hayes wasn't turned on by having come in his ass. 

"No it's OK." 

Really? He felt his orgasm coming and increased speed. He was thrusting into Hayes as hard as he could. He came, his climax felt endless. He pulled out and took Hayes in his mouth and sucked him. He pushed one finger into his lover, rubbing his sweet spot and Hayes came with a cry. He swallowed and it took him a moment to catch his breath. He lay next to Hayes, wrapped his arms around him and held him tight. He had to send Corporal Kelly flowers to thank him for this.

**Hayes:**

He kissed Paul and tasted himself and it was OK. He felt Paul’s semen flowing out off his butt and it was OK. He snuggled tight against his lover and felt good. He was going to fall asleep soon. And tomorrow he would wake up next to Paul and he looked forward to it. 

"My name is Jeremiah by the way ..."

END


End file.
